Gay Marriage and Cheesy Guitars

This picture is for everybody who had a first guitar. Mine had a plywood top and a painted on pick-guard. At the top of the headstock, someone had spray painted through a stencil a buck's head and "Buckeye."

I learned some serious and sincere folk songs on that guitar, including The Water is Wide and Mr. Rabbit. It's great being a gifted kid. People appreciate many things that you do because you're doing them "early." Then one day you're not so early any more and everyone else has caught up. And you realize that your guitar has a painted on pick guard and a plywood top. Mr. Rabbit indeed!

A couple of days ago, a district court judge in Iowa, of all places, ruled that gay and lesbian people have the right to be married. One lucky couple got married before he chickened out and put a "stay" on the ruling, so that the Supreme Court could rule. The Republicans, who currently have no power, are going to try to make an issue of this and raise a constitutional amendment that says marriage only happens between a MAN and a WOMAN.

I do some marital counseling, mostly with heterosexual couples. Marriage is certainly an institution, but what sort of institution it is varies from couple to couple. Folks bring their most intimate baggage concerning intimacy into a relationship based largely on fantasized idealized fictions about the object of their affections. As my parents' friend said: "Marrage is most often a case of mistaken identities."

In the end, one has to ask one's self: "What is so sacred about heterosexual marriage? And if it's so sacred, what, besides blasphemy, can we call what many straight couples do to it." I think we could use some help.

If gay men do for marriage, what they have done for real estate, we may hope for a brighter, more orderly and tasteful future. If we produce more softball playing, celtic ritualizing earth mothers who want to take care of each othe for live, doesn't that relieve the government of the burden of costly "Lesbian Rehab?"

Let us all be allowed to commit to each other, whoever that other may be. In this world, true commitment to another is sacred. There are all flavors and nuances of commitment, but in the end we are all tied to each other, woven through and through like that big spider web on that golf course in texas. Our successes raise each other our failures drag us all down.

To dedicate ones life to another, ANY other, is a beautiful thing. Elizabeth Taylor had eight marriages and eight divorces. My brother in law and his husband have been married for over 25 years. A wise woman once told me "don't listen to what people say. Watch what they do."

This is Walker checking out his throw against a radar gun. The radar gun won. So did the Carney.

I'm proud that a judge in Iowa, my chosen home state, said what needed to be said. I don't know how long this will last, or what marriage in Iowa will mean, but for a moment common sense won the day. Let people who love each other commit to each other and recieve the blessing of "family." Let's find more reasons to connect, rather than divide.