Postscript

Like living in Cedar Rapids, Thanksgiving was "not that bad." This whole business of not being thankful for a holiday based on gratitude can make irony a full time job. LeRoy's turkey, against all odds, was quite moist (although the composite ham was dry enough to be sliced "paper thin"). The company was friendly enough, although predictably devoid of content, but also devoid of anything patently offensive. LeRoy was glad to have family around him and grateful that Robyn came and helped set up. My brother in law stayed to put up the worlds most complicated artificial tree while I absconded with a large television that LeRoy can no longer use because J.D. moved in with April and already has too many t.v.s and so LeRoy replaced his downstairs t.v. with J.D.'s flat screen one. We got the downstairs t.v. which sits happily in our bedroom in place of the ancient 19 inch television Donna gave us as a wedding present. Are you following this? It's truly an "object" lesson.

I find myself, now, with one more day of a long weekend after a restless night built upon rich food, too much to think about and insufficient exercise. Since I put some money down on a gym membership I'll shortly go try to redeem myself by working out on an elliptical machine. It's low-impact, and since I haven't talked to a trainer yet, I'm trying to be careful. There's a large, hot whirlpool waiting as well.

And what did I think as I lay in bed last night? I thought about money, or the lack thereof. I thought about my mother, whose circle has diminished to almost nil, and wondered how much longer she'll occupy her tiny space. We've cut back on a lot of her medication and her disease will progress more quickly now, it's evident. There's no point in standing with your finger in the dike when the water is up to your chest. I thought about my kids, my marriage, the hole in my ceiling and the leak that made it. I doubted myself in various ways and longed for a large martini, settling in the end for a late night beer.

Today will be about exercise. I'll get my body going. I'll help clean up the house, putting away all the stuff we got out for our guests. I'll go see if my mother can walk any better. I'll go to Iowa City and bother my friends. Doing, to substantiate being, looking for purpose, which is inevitably in my other pants.