Low

Here's a picture of young men eating after Caitlin's prom. Nice. They didn't get anything on their jackets (and, one hopes, on their dates).

I was very excited to get my wires out and my jaw loosened. I didn't count on my jaw getting used to being closed, or on my brace pushing my lower jaw up, keeping my head back. Ironically, my mouth is now NOT big enough. Chewing is strange because my teeth are not quite where they used to be. Close enough, but I'm not chewing on steak yet.

The endless "recovery" is what is getting to me. I get to thinking I'm feeling better and some test tells me maybe I'm not. It gets to the point that I feel like I can't trust my own perceptions. Am I feeling better or am I just telling myself that. Am a nauseous because I'm still infected by something or is it just the two antibiotics, the pain meds and a relatively empty stomach doing it? If I'm sleepy a lot, is that me healing, or my body telling me I'm not really okay?

The little hole in my back that has been a concern is very, very small and does not seem to really be infected. It's an enormously long scar and it makes sense that it all would not be "perfect." I talked to my boss and I'm going to telecommute part time next week, which will be great. I may try to go there and work as well, just to get a feel for how things will work. I told him it might mean that I end up sleeping for a little while on one of my sofas. He's okay with that kind of break. I'm lucky.

Although I'm not hungry enough, not busy enough, and don't have enough energy. I really do think I'm on the mend. Right now. I'm just incredibly, overwhelmingly tired of being in this process. I can usually will my way through most of life's events. Damn.