Heal hard!

My good cousin Bridget sent me a message, urging me to "heal hard." I realized that that's exactly what I've been trying to do. C'mon, heal DAMMIT.

Brief status update: wound is closed an infection appears to be under control. This was certainly slowing me down, and now that this is under control, I'm literally feeling stronger daily. Also have been able to decrease pain medication again, which is a major goal. I'm going to Madison for a check up on Thursday and would like to be off Loritab so that I can sip beer through a straw at Doug Ross's bar. See, I DO have limits. Alcohol and Loritab do not mix. Every time I reduce my Loritab dose, I feel more like myself, only a little sorer. It's a welcome tradeoff.

I'm also off heavy machinery, incidentally. I'll be looking for clearer guidelines as to how to proceed with the wellness portion of this adventure. I'd like some sort of regime. In the meantime, I'm trying to just do some things, such as walking, poking around the yard, playing guitar.

The guitar adventure is going to be tough. I bend over a guitar right where the vertebrae were fused, so my first attempt yesterday was brief and painful. As always, it's about finding a place to perch that I can tolerate for a period of time. Standing up may be the way to go (I usually perform that way). No rush. No gigs, and my fingers still work. I can't really sing with clenched teeth anyway, although my brothers in BWR can attest that we all have at one time or another.

I have time to ponder. When I try to heal hard, I tend to fall back. I found that I was focusing on increasing my activity when what I needed to do was rest and literally let the wound heal before I pushed anything. My body convinced me of this by hurting like hell. After the wound stopped acting badly, my energy immediately began to return, and I was able to concentrate on the next thing - doing more. Healing, apparently happens in the order it happens, and I find I can heal hard if I listen better to what I need, rather than what I want to need.

Same old lesson, over and over.

I'm going to see a client tomorrow. I've known him for years and the Young Frankenstein outfit won't disturb him. He's way more interesting than the inside of my own head, from my perspective anyway, so we'll both benefit.

Heal hard.