Mudville

Tonight was our last baseball game of the season. We sat on the hill in the shade at Roosevelt Middle School and watched our boys play their last two games of the season. Whew. That's about enough sitting in lawnchairs for this daddy. I like watching the kids but less and less enjoy watching the parents.

And anyway my contact lenses were drying out and my eyes felt sandpapered. It's all about me and my eyes.

I picked up my glasses two weeks ago, on a Thursday morning, and they broke in two at the nose-piece. I took them in to the Eye Center and they couldn't fix my old Ralph Lauren frames (I know you knew I was a fashion plate), of course. We looked at some other drill in frames and I picked out a color. The woman ordered a couple other frames just in case. . . .

She said it'd be a week. This is a week of wearing contact lenses 14 to 16 hours each day. This is using eye drops to make it through and slamming contact lenses into puffy eyes in the morning. I asked if she couldn't expedite things. I should have used a smaller word.

After a week there was a voicemail on my cell phone. "We have your three frames in and they ALL fit your lenses, so just come in and pick out which one you want and we'll send them to the lab." My already watery eyes were freshened by real tears.

I called and explained that I had already indicated my choice and that we shouldn't be having this conversation. I explained that I had indicated the silvery sort of frames. He said that would work and I could get them Monday. Now a week is seven days. Now we were talking eleven days. That's almost a flipping fortnight. I also complained about my eyes.

On Monday I called and the nice man explained that the frames would be in from Iowa City about 3:30 p.m. This is about the time my client comes on Mondays. She and I both called and cancelled each other. Her eyes were fine. I told her about mine.

At 4 p.m., the Eye Center had not called. I called them and the receptionist was very pleased to discover that my glasses were in from Iowa City. I wept tears of joy. I drove slowly, due to impaired vision, to the Eye Center. I told them about my eyes.

Because it's all about me, and them.